


Come Down, Achilles

by RubyCrystalAPasta



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anxious Thoughts, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Original Fiction, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:16:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28145220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubyCrystalAPasta/pseuds/RubyCrystalAPasta
Summary: This is a songfic based on the song "Achilles Come Down" by Gang of Youths, there is some smoking and drinking mention however, there is no major character death! This pov is from Lewis, a deaf transmale in a fraternity at college that happens to be the son of a mafia leader, his mother. He is later comforted by his two boyfriends, Del and Tyler after he misses their football game.Excerpt:Achilles, Achilles, Just put down the bottle, Don't listen to what you've consumedPerhaps they were here to ask why Lewis hadn't been there for them. Lewis wouldn't be surprised if they were upset, but the alcohol had taken a big part of his logical thinking away from him. Lewis didn't look at them, his eyes still on the stars. "Lewis?" Tyler called, gently, unsure perhaps of why Lewis was sitting on the house instead of in his own room. Lewis gave a glance back, as if to say that he heard him, but returned his eyes to the sky, taking another drink.
Relationships: male oc/male oc/male oc
Kudos: 2





	Come Down, Achilles

_Achilles, Achilles, Achilles come down, won't you, Get up off, Get up off the roof?_  
The wind blew through the cold night, sending a shiver down Lewis' spine. The thin tendril of smoke blew from his mouth, escaping into the air like a whisper that would never be heard from again. The trees blocked his views to a few places, but he could see the campus football field from the roof he was occupying for the night. Lewis took a swift drag from his cigarette, enjoying the smoke that curled in his lungs, resting there before he blew it out.

_You're scaring us, And all of us- Some of us love you, Achilles, it's not much but there's proof_  
Tonight was a big game for the campus, Lewis couldn't remember if it was homecoming or something else- perhaps they were against their rivals. He was supposed to be at the game- the rest of his frat house would be. Vanilla would be playing, as would Robin, Tyler, Jean, and Delorian. He was supposed to be at the game because he was their support, he was supposed to be cheering them on. And yet he was here, sitting on the cold roof, smoking and taking sips of some cheap liquor he'd been given as a birthday present.

_You crazy assed cosmonaut, Remember your virtue, Redemption lies plainly in truth_  
His birthday.... that had been a trainwreck. It was only a bit ago now, but he could remember it like it was yesterday. He had single-handedly ruined the day for not only himself, but for those around him. He should have known that he would ruin it- he ruined everything else. And he believed it was true- why wouldn't it be? It had started as a good day, but of course, he had business to attend to- his family business. 

_Just humor us, Achilles, Achilles come down, Won't you get up off, Get up off the roof_  
A shiver wracked through his body once more, causing him to rub the sides of his arms before taking another swig of the drink, nose wrinkling in disgust. It tasted awful, burning his throat as he swallowed, but it warmed him. He didn't want to get off the roof just yet, although he knew he should find something productive to do. It was the least he could do- humor those who believed he would amount to anything important. He could hear the screams and cheers from the game all the way over here- for once, he had his hearing aid in. He wanted to escape his normal- what's less normal than being able to hear the soft sounds of the night, the harsh yellings down the street, the laughter of those who meant something to somebody. It was better than hearing his own thoughts.

_Achilles, Achilles, Achilles come down, won't you, Get up off, Get up off the roof?_  
And were those thoughts loud. He could barely focus on anything when he got in his own head- feeling overwhelmed and disgusted by himself was the ordinary day. Lewis lifted his eyes to the stars, taking a deep breath, letting it out after a few moments. He knew, logically, he was simply having a bad week- he needed to focus on something, anything that could make him feel better. He just couldn't find what that "something" was. He debated with himself. Could it be a person? He should find somebody to talk to, to help himself understand why he felt like this, like his chest was caving in the moment something went wrong.

_The self is not so weightless, Nor whole and unbroken, Remember the pact of our youth_  
Lewis became lost in the memories of his childhood- the days when he would play with his mother, where hide and seek was the event that he looked forward to every single day. Where he would play in the forest behind his mother's house with the maids, pretending to be a pirate, pretending that everything would have a happy ending. He knew, realistically, that nothing regarding him would have a good ending, but it wouldn't be a waste to try, would it? 

_Where you go, I'm going, So jump and I'm jumping, Since there is no me without you_  
Lewis thought of the rest of his youth- the bloodied knives, the hunts that his mother would send him on- the reckless bruises and scars that littered his body year after year. He took a final drag of his cigarette, putting it out in an ashtray- he hadn't smoked in years, this relapse might cost him. He didn't care. Did he? He didn't. It wasn't like this would affect him in the long run. He didn't expect to live long enough to have serious issues from smoking. This was a fact, not just a thought. Not with the business he was a part of. He felt regret and guilt, knowing that he would hurt those he was close with, those who would live without him, eventually.

_Soldier on, Achilles, Achilles come down, Won't you get up off, Get up off the roof?_  
He needed to get off the roof- the cold had seeped deep into his bones, no matter how much he drank or curled into himself to keep warm. He took another sip, as if to spite the wind, to spite the thoughts in his own head that begged for his survival. He would be fine for a few more minutes on the roof, and his body knew it. Lewis stared up to the stars, recognizing familiar constellations- the ones his mother had taught him, so many years ago. "The stars will always follow you, whenever I can't, my child" She had told him when he expressed fear of being alone. It hadn't reassured him then, but now he was glad for it.

_Loathe the way they light candles in Rome, But love the sweet air of the votives, Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone, Engage with the pain as a motive_  
He thought of the way that his mother had trained him- not only to be a good businessman but to be the rightful heir of her mafia. She hadn't kept that secret from him long, he had always known that he'd inherit it eventually, even without her telling him. It would be passed on through the family, and when he died... it would go to his second in command, whoever that was. He'd have to choose when the time came.

_Today of all days, See, How the most dangerous thing is to love, How you will heal and you'll rise above_  
Maybe he shouldn't think of that now. Maybe he should think of the present- the people he'd met, the ones who seemed to care about him.

_Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, Jump now, You are absent of cause, Or excuse, So self-indulgent, And self-referential, No audience could ever want you_  
But to think of them was selfish- the ones that had taken him in without second thought, the ones that made him feel okay with being himself around others. They were the ones that had saved him without a moment's hesitation when things went to shit, and patched him up afterward. He'd be forever grateful for them, but.... he didn't think that he had done enough to deserve it. The rumble of a car rolling down the street caught his attention for a moment- ah, the game must have ended already. 

_You crave the applause, Yet hate the attention, Then miss it, your act is a ruse_  
Lewis had told himself that he would eventually go to the game- and yet he had missed it completely. Guilt stabbed him in the gut, twisting the knife deeper when he realized that the car belonged to Tyler- he must've been taking Del home. 

_It is empty, Achilles, So end it all now, It's a pointless resistance, For you_  
Laughter and a cheery spirit came along with them- Tyler was talking about the impossible plays they had pulled off to win the game. Lewis felt proud, but he felt regret well up when he remembered he should have been there. He took another swig of the liquor, the drink going down the wrong pipe and causing him to cough until he was fine. By that time- the door to his room opened, Tyler entering with Del not far behind him. 

_Achilles, Achilles, Just put down the bottle, Don't listen to what you've consumed_  
Perhaps they were here to ask why Lewis hadn't been there for them. Lewis wouldn't be surprised if they were upset, but the alcohol had taken a big part of his logical thinking away from him. Lewis didn't look at them, his eyes still on the stars. "Lewis?" Tyler called, gently, unsure perhaps of why Lewis was sitting on the house instead of in his own room. Lewis gave a glance back, as if to say that he heard him, but returned his eyes to the sky, taking another drink.

_It's chaos, confusion, And wholly unworthy, Of feeding and it's wholly untrue_  
"Are you okay?" Del asked, voice hesitant. Lewis shrugged, which was perhaps the truth at this point. He didn't know if he was okay- he didn't know if he would ever be. "I don't know." He whispered to the cold air, too soft for either of them to hear. 

_You may feel no purpose, Nor a point for existing, It's all just conjecture and gloom_  
The windowsill creaked behind him- he was a few feet away, which gave the two enough space to come out on the roof themselves. They didn't come close enough to Lewis to touch, and maybe that was a good thing. Lewis didn't know if they were mad at him for not being there for them, but they should be. 

_And there may not be meaning, So find one and seize it, Do not waste your self on this roof_  
And maybe they should have been mad at him- after all, he ruined everything that he touched. Why shouldn't their relationship be any different? They sat in silence for a few minutes as Lewis drank, his eyes never leaving the sky. Maybe now that they knew his hearing aid was in, they didn't want to talk. Maybe they were communicating silently, planning like they always did to do something about it. Lewis didn't want to ask, didn't want to bother them any more than he already had been. 

_Hear those bells ring deep in the soul, Chiming away for a moment, Feel your breath course frankly below, See life as a worthy opponent_  
And maybe, maybe they wanted to take this opportunity to break up with him. He took a deep breath, feeling their gazes on his back, as if they didn't know if they should approach him or not. Maybe they wanted to wait until he was off the roof to do anything. 

_Today of all days, See, How the most dangerous thing is to love, How you will heal and you'll rise above, Crowned by an overture bold and beyond_  
"I'm sorry," Lewis spoke, not looking at them, taking a final sip of his drink before screwing the lid back on, setting it to the side. "I know I should've been there."

_Ah, it's more courageous to overcome_  
"I know I messed up- you both deserve something better than what I have to offer." He said, chest tightening. He knew, logically, this was the best way he could do this. He knew that he was being a coward- they did deserve better, but that wasn't the full reason he was saying it. Lewis knew that they would become targets, just for being with him. He hated putting them in danger for something like him, something that was replaceable and horrible. 

_You want the acclaim, The mother of mothers (it's not worth it Achilles)_  
"What are you talking about?" Tyler asked, nowhere in his tone showing anger or disappointment. Lewis couldn't look at them, tears starting to pool in his eyes. He was being an idiot, wasn't he? It wasn't worth hurting them, just for the feelings that he had. It wasn't.

_More poignant than fame, Or the taste of another (don't listen Achilles)_  
"Look at us, Lewis." Del's voice was smooth and left no room for arguing. Lewis turned, facing them now. "I don't want you two to get hurt." He whispered, barely heard by them. Tears fell down his cheeks, something that they weren't expecting. Del moved forward in an instant, cupping Lewis' face in his hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. He pressed a soft kiss to Lewis' mouth, one that held support and love- that much Lewis could tell. 

_But be real and just jump, You dense motherfucker (you're worth more, Achilles)_  
"I..." Momentarily, Lewis couldn't speak, his throat closed up by the fears that he felt. "Why would we get hurt, Lew?" Tyler asked, scooting closer, concern etched in his gaze. They had met his mother, of course, but he hadn't exactly told them everything that they should know. He knew they deserved the truth, at least, but... now? Was this the time? They might scrape his truth onto the bottle he had downed. He would be disappointed, but not surprised. 

_You will not be more, Than a rat in the gutter (so much more than a rat)_  
"I haven't been honest with you." He spoke, addressing both of them, taking a deep breath once Del removed his hands from Lewis' face, sitting back to listen to what he needed to say. "My mother.... She's the head of a mafia." He said, watching their faces. Obviously, he wasn't surprised to see the shock on their faces once he admitted this. They weren't completely surprised when he told them this, some things clicked. 

_You want my opinion (no one asked your opinion), My opinion you've got_  
"Being with me.... It could get you both killed. I can't put you through this." Lewis spoke, the tears falling down his face again. He had to do this- they had to understand, didn't they? That he couldn't do this to them, they must be mad at him for not telling them sooner than this, for not giving them a warning that they could be pulled into a crossfire- "So? I don't care." Tyler spoke, taking one of Lewis' hands in his own, feeling how cold he was. 

_You asked for my counsel (no one asked for your thoughts), I gave you my thoughts_  
"Wh-What?" Lewis spoke, confusion lacing his tone. "What do you mean, you don't care? You could die, because of me," He started, but was cut off. "Do you think we're scared of some trouble? Lewis, I don't know if you know this, but Del was arrested for almost killing somebody in a fight. He can handle himself." Tyler spoke.

_Be done with this now, And jump off the roof (And get off the roof)_  
"But that isn't the same- the people she works against, they would murder you without a second thought, just to start a war," Lewis spoke, panic settling in. He was shaking- maybe his boyfriends thought it was because he was cold. "Hey, let's talk about this inside. You're freezing." Del spoke, getting out of his jacket and draping it over Lewis, almost burying him in the fabric. 

_Can you hear me Achilles?, I'm talking to you_  
"O-Okay," Lewis said, shivering consistently now, pulling the jacket closer to himself. He followed them off the roof, back into his own room, where he sat on his bed, trying to wipe the tears away from his face. He needed to stop crying- this was pathetic. 

_I'm talking to you, I'm talking to you_  
"Lewis, we can handle ourselves," Tyler spoke as Del covered Lewis in a blanket, making sure he was warm. "Being with you may put us in danger, but we know how to stay safe." Lewis nodded, taking another deep breath. Okay. This wasn't as hard as he thought- maybe they could get through this, together.

_I'm talking to you, Achilles come down, Achilles come down,_  
"Are you sure?" He asked, looking up to Tyler before looking at Del, who both nodded. Yeah, they would be okay. "Okay." He spoke, voice shakier than he was. "I'm still sorry for not coming to your game-" Del sighed, moving forward and kissing Lewis to quiet him. Tyler sighed, not upset either, and crawled into the familiar bed next to them. "We aren't mad." 

_Throw yourself into the unknown, With pace and a fury defiant,_  
Lewis kissed back with all the fear, the passion, the terror that he'd held within the past few hours, the taste of the alcohol still on his lips. They'd been together for a few months now, and he was thankful that they cared about him this much. His hands went to Del's hair, pulling him closer while they kissed. 

_Clothe yourself in beauty untold, And see life as a means to a triumph,_  
They would be okay, Lewis thought, at least for now. They all were safe and comfortable, and he wouldn't throw this away for anything. He couldn't- if this was going to be worth it, he needed to cherish them for as long as possible. 

_Today of all days, See, How the most dangerous thing is to love_  
Lewis knew there would be many close calls in the future- but he would have to do his best to keep them safe, no matter the cost. He would protect them, and do his best to live up to their expectations. He had to, or else.... what could he bring to this relationship?

_How you will heal and you'll rise above, Crowned by an overture bold and beyond_  
"Stop thinking," Tyler said, moving Lewis to kiss him too, gently biting down on his lip before pulling away. "That's your thinking face, and though usually, it's cute, I don't think you need to know some equation to relax with us." He joked, grinning at Lewis' soft laugh at that. "Okay," Lewis said, taking a deep breath before continuing to shower them in love, his mind quieting. 

_Ah, it's more courageous to overcome_  
They would be okay, and so would Lewis.


End file.
